Craig Wilcox

Craig

  • 100-Day Keto Results Are In!

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    Craig

    My 100-Day keto results and experiences were both better and worse than I thought they would be.

    10 Pound Weight Loss

    First, the good. My 30-day weight was right at 186 on April 18, my birthday. I’ve seen a couple of days under 185 on my 7-day chart. That beat my goal of 190, and I’m still seeing a downward trend. Here’s my weight for the last 11+ years:

    The only time I’ve been lower was when I made myself incredibly sick trying to start keto by replacing oatmeal with eggs for breakfast. It turned out I’m allergic to them!

    I’m thinking I’ll “bottom out” this time a little under 185.

    I had the thought the other day that I after taking off the “last 5 pounds”, it’s not *really* the last 5 pounds, and it may not even be the 2nd to last five pounds! I don’t want to drop under 180 by any means, but I’m not going to be looking “fat-free” either.

    Reduced Alcohol Intake

    I also had the goal of reducing my alcohol intake. I noticed (probably for the first time) that I’d never gone a full week without a drink. I realized I’m not a heavy drinker, but I’m a very consistent one. I set out to have a bit less and also go a full week without any at all. I did it twice, and was very close on a 3rd time.

    Here’s a breakdown of my 7-day (blue) and 28-day alcohol intake for a little over 6 years. It was definitely nice to see that blue line touch zero a couple times.

    I’d say my desire for alcohol is also down significantly. I wouldn’t say it’s gone, but I’m not desiring any during the week at least.

    The weekends? Yes, I still like to have a few drinks for the fun of it. I’m not sure that will change, even though I find the hangovers are much worse than they used to be.

    Now, the bad stuff…

    Muscle Loss?

    My second time with a stricter keto diet was much more difficult. Part of that was due to a couple of weekends where I didn’t stick to keto. Both times, plus the initial induction, the “keto flu” got me. I felt tired and thought I had a cold.

    This time around, I kept my protein a lot lower than I had throughout last year to see what would happen. My macros were around 75-80% fat, 5% carbohydrates, and 15-20% protein, which was only an average just over 100-130 grams.

    I did that for an extra 40ish days or so compared to last year, and I think I lost quite a bit of muscle mass. I felt much more tired, especially while exercising, and only felt the “brightness of mind” a few times.

    During this time, I was also trying to rest from my arm injuries by not doing my resistance exercises. That’s obviously going to cause some muscle loss. My shoulder pain did go away almost 100%, but the tennis elbow didn’t improve much at all.

    In mid-March, I’d had enough, and I increased both my protein and my resistance training. I’m now trying to get a minimum of 150 grams of protein per day, so I’m at 20-25% protein, 70-75% fat, and still just 5% carbs.

    I’m feeling much better now, and I’m still continuing to lose some weight. I have enough energy throughout the day and during exercise, and I feel happier with the “light and bright” mindset I had last year. I don’t think I’m losing muscle mass anymore, but I’m not sure I’m gaining it too fast yet either.

    I’m now resolved to continue the journey at my current macros or maybe a little more protein – up to 25-30% on average to see how I handle it.

    My other big goal was to do more treadmill running and get down to a 6:30 mile. This was the biggest failure, and I’m actually much slower than I was. I just didn’t have the energy to do the runs. I don’t think I can even do an 8 minute mile anymore.

    While it’s disappointing to have these results, I’m still fired up to try to get down to 6:30, and I’m starting to run more than I had been. It’s also spring, and I’ll do most of my outdoor running in the next month or two. As soon as the snow melts off, that is.

    Overall, I’d say this 100-day experiment was balanced between the good and the bad. And now I know for sure what my body needs going forward.

    I’ll stay on top of recording my calorie intake for at least another 6 weeks, when I’ll go to Las Vegas to play in the National Open again this year. That’s the official beginning of pool season for me, and I like to see if I can get a leaner look each year. Sometimes almost the end of pool season, too, as I just don’t go to the pool very often anymore. This makes the stakes a bit higher.

    I’d say I’m now hitting my personal stride for 2024, and I’m excited to see where it takes me!

  • Keto After 1 Month

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    Craig

    Winter is a great time for me to pursue my health goals. I’m almost always in control of it since we rarely travel and I mostly leave the house for exercise or groceries.

    That hasn’t been the case this year, as we’ve already had two trips where it was difficult to do a keto diet and also impossible to exercise the way I do normally. So out of what should be about a month of keto, I’m missing 6 days.

    Still, it’s been a month, so it’s good to review. Just like last year, my first proper 100-day keto diet, the weight has come off quickly. It seems it’s about 3 pounds of water weight, and then another 3-4 pounds of fat and lean tissue. My 7-day weight average was at a high of 197.6, and that average is now at just over 190.

    The travel interruptions have made it difficult to get a good rhythm for more than 2 weeks so far, and that means I’ve been trying to gain ketosis 3 different times already. Since that’s the hardest part for me – queue the keto “flu” – it’s not been nearly as easy as last year.

    Just this week, though, I’ve started to experience some of the “lightness of being” and “brightness of outlook” that I had for a couple months last year, and I’m looking forward to more of that.

    Calories In / Calories Out

    I estimated I wanted to arrive right around 2500 calories consumed per day for this beginning part of the keto journey. For the past 8 days, I’m a bit above that at 2650.

    My calories out have been at 3100 through yesterday. That should equate to about a pound per week of weight loss, which is in keeping with what I did last year.

    Just like I’ve started to see the lightness and brightness in just the past few days, I’ve also seen my appetite lessened. For me, not feeling hungry is the absolute key to trimming down

    I’m only looking to lose about 5 more pounds, and I think that will happen within the next month, putting me about one month ahead of the 100-day challenge.

    Dry-ish January

    In all the 6+ years of recording my alcohol consumption on a daily basis, I’d never once had a 7 day stretch with zero alcohol. I’d honestly never given that a thought, but the recent coverage of alcohol having only negative impacts on health made me think I should give it a try.

    This January, I’ve hit zero on the 7-day scale twice. I’m glad it didn’t feel all that difficult, and I think I’ll keep my consumption a lot lower than in the past. I do enjoy having 2 or maybe 3 drinks on weekend nights, but I find I’m paying a much higher price for those in terms of mental acuity and well being. As I’m coming up on 53, it doesn’t feel like I can spare days to hangovers anymore.

    Speaking of mental acuity, it does seem like keto has had a somewhat negative impact on my sharpness so far. I’ll write about the effect of keto on my chess rating next.

  • My 2024 Physical Achievements

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    Craig

    I was going to call this post “My 2024 Physical Goals”, but it just doesn’t feel right to me to call them goals. I’m just going to do what I know I need to do, and I’ll achieve what I want to achieve. There’s no striving necessary.

    Anyway, here they are through April 18, 2024, my 53rd birthday.

    I think I like my weight best at right around 190. My 28-day average weight is 196 right now, and I don’t feel just the right way.

    I’ll track my calories and need to be eating an average of 200 less calories less than I have recently. The thing that’s going to make this 200 calorie deficit a little harder to get to is that I haven’t tracked them recently and don’t really know my starting point. I’m going to assume it’s been a bit over 2700 on average, so I’ll settle in at 2500 for a bit and see how it goes.

    I’d like to drink a lot less than I have recently. When I was doing keto last year, my cravings for alcohol fell a lot, and I’ll expect the same thing this year. Hopefully, starting tomorrow, I’ll do a solid week with 0 alcohol and see how it goes. If I slip up during my practice week, no big deal. Anything less than 1 per day on average will be a win compared to this last week.

    Besides my weight, I’ll focus on 3 things for the first 100 days:

    1. Developing a stretching and movement routine.
    2. Being able to run a 6:30 mile on a treadmill. (By the end of the year, I want to do a 6:00 minute mile, but it seems better to give this a little more time than 100 days.)
    3. Taking a small break from heavy resistance training for recovery. I’ll up the core work as a replacement.

    My legs are beginning the year in good shape. I also have a strong core, chest, and back. My arms, though, are a disaster. I need to see a doctor about my left arm, which shakes uncontrollably when trying to drink coffee especially.

    My right arm needs a lot of help. I started last year with shoulder issues. I ended it with my shoulder being slightly better, but I developed tennis elbow, generalized inflammation, and a twinge in my bicep. I’ll schedule several massages for this, and I need to try acupuncture for the tendonitis based on a friend’s recommendation.

    That seems like all the major stuff. I think I’ll accomplish my weight goal relatively quickly if I stick to keto. The other stuff will need some time and practice.

  • Happy New Year! Welcome 2024

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    Craig

    2023 turned into a great year for me, and I’m not quite finished celebrating. We have our annual New Year’s Day party for close friends and neighbors, so there will be one last hurrah before I start practicing for 2024.

    With a birthday on the 108th day of the year, I “practice” what I want my habits to be for the first 8 days, and then I’ll be off and running for 100 days of “game time” effort until my birthday. I don’t need any resolutions with this. Just a few things I’ll do a little bit better each year.

    Near the end of last year, when I was in-between celebratory holidays, I had what was a very strange thought for me for the first time in my life.

    I felt in complete control of my body and had the certainty I could accomplish what I wanted to without anything that would be considered “effort” or willpower or motivation. Instead of needing to get “fired up”, I’ll just start doing it again, and I’ll get the results I want by my birthday.

    Yes, there will be times when I’ll have to remind myself not to do a few things. I’ll make some mistakes, too. But overall, I’ll just cruise right to where I want to be.

    For someone who has had lifelong depression and has “struggled” with weight loss and maintenance for the better part of always, that’s an amazing thought and feeling.

    I credit the keto diet I used strictly to begin last year for this winning mindset. Throughout the rest of the year, I experimented with some different variations of it – with more protein specifically – and also had good results throughout the year.

    Toward the end of the year, I definitely “let go” a bit and enjoyed some different foods I hadn’t had for the rest of the year. But during these last 5 weeks of the year, I didn’t feel like I was giving in to cravings, I didn’t get any extra delight out of them, and I don’t feel like I’ll miss them. I did it mostly for social reasons, and I had a nice time with family and friends without worrying about what I was doing.

    That’s over now. I’ll still enjoy myself, but I’ll do it without the carbs and with quite a bit less alcohol. Close to none actually.

    Ok, off we go into 2024.

  • 6 Weeks On Keto and Going Strong Still

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    Craig

    I just passed the 6 week mark on the ketogenic diet, and I’m still feeling great with few issues. The last 2 weeks have been a bit different than the previous 4. It feels like my body is now on the other side of an “adjustment” of some kind, and I’m back to feeling like progress is occurring.

    When I wrote about keto after 4 weeks, I mentioned I wanted to slow down a bit on the weight loss, as it was averaging over 6 pounds per month. The plan was to lower my output slightly and take in a few more calories so I’d get back to just 4 pounds per month.

    I didn’t quite make it to the 2,500 calories of intake I’d be aiming for, landing at 2,400 on average. I did almost exactly reach the 3,000 in calories burnt. Overall, then, that would amount to 2.4 pounds lost during that time.

    But that’s not what happened. Instead, I’m at 1.3 pounds lost. So much for the almost exact calories in vs. calories out formula I had going. And so much for the keto magic that explains it should be even better.

    But there is one difference in the past 2 weeks. I started doing heavier resistance training in the past 2 weeks. Nothing huge. Just around 20 minutes per day twice a week. And I think this has caused an adjustment.

    Last week especially, I didn’t feel quite as good as I had been. I had some gastrointestinal discomfort, felt a little bloated, and was probably retaining a bit more water. Maybe my body has figured out a way to store more glycogen to prepare for more resistance training. That makes the most sense to me, as an extra pound of water retained water would explain the difference in calorie expenditures.

    Last week, I also felt a bit more hungry, and I even had a couple of staring contests with some chips. I was mostly able to avert my gaze, but I did have just a couple of chips, a few french fries, and one Valentine’s chocolate last week.

    By last night, it felt as though the adjustment was over. My hunger was again way down yesterday, and I barely consumed 2,000 calories while burning up almost 3,300.

    Today, I broke under 190 pounds for the first time, and I feel like it’s going to stick under that weight this week.

    As mentioned, my plan was to start increasing my resistance training and also increase my protein intake. I started up with a protein powder with 24 grams of protein yesterday.

    Over the next week or so, I’m hoping to “up” my protein percentage from 20-25% to 30% or more. I’ll be taking blood measurements for ketones and glucose starting tomorrow to see if there are any differences.

    I am also liking the videos made by Thomas DeLauer, who takes a scientific approach to the ketogenic diet. This video, which says that bumping protein up and fat down has proven worthy of a try.

    This has essentially been my plan when I started. Do keto to get smaller and then bump up the protein percentage while still maintaining the low carb approach. We’ll see how it works over the next couple of weeks!

  • After 4 Weeks of the Keto Diet

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    Craig

    I’ve now completed 4 weeks of the keto diet. I’m impressed, I’m fascinated, and I’m feeling good. Oh, and I’m accomplishing my goals, too.

    Week over week, the biggest difference is again with my hunger. I’m just not hungry very often, so I’m not eating as much. I’ve kept very careful track of my calories again this week, and the average is under 2300 calories consumed per day. The net carbs are always at 5%. The fat varied between 65 and 70%, and the protein was 20-25%. All good for the sake of the diet.

    On the expenditure side, I went slightly higher than normal to 3070 calories per day. That makes for a net of calorie deficit of 770 per day or 5390 per week. That’s 1.5 pounds per week. (My actual 7 day average is 1.51. That’s pretty close!) 4 weeks ago, my 7-day average weight was 200.3 lbs. Now, my 7-day average is at 192.2 lbs.

    I’ve been struggling to assess whether 6-7 pounds per month is too much to lose, and my rational self thinks it probably is. 4 pounds per month seems more reasonable. My motivated “resolutions” self is happier with 6-7 pounds!

    This week, I also started with some resistance training. Just 10 minutes on average for 4 days. I had thought I’d experience losses and more difficulty without the traditional glycogen loss and protein powder I’m accustomed to taking, but it’s likely only 15% like it has been with my aerobic capacity. I’ll try to pick it up a bit this week to see if I feel ok with higher loads and workout time.

    Also this week, I purchased and received a Keto Mojo blood glucose and ketone meter. I had done one measurement a couple weeks ago, and I had a good reading then of 1.0 mmol/l an hour or so after a meal. So far with my own device measurements, I’m at 1.0 mmol/l or below on my morning readings. Glucose in the mornings has been between 70-75 mg/dL. That seems slightly too low at this point, but it’s not out of the range. I did feel some low blood sugar symptoms this morning and one other morning this week.

    I think I’ll need to consume more fat calories this week to see if I can push the ketone readings over 1.0 mmol/l. I’ll focus on consuming right around 2500 calories per day with a 3000 calorie per day expenditure to see how that treats me.

    I’ll need to mix up my food choices a little more this week. I’m finding myself somewhat unsatisfied my with dinner meals.

  • 3 Weeks on Keto: I’m Not Hungry, and I’m Also Not Losing Weight Quickly

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    Craig

    I’m now through 3 full weeks of the keto diet, and I’m getting less hungry by the day.

    For me, the first week garnered the biggest weight loss, which is as expected. The body stops storing glycogen, and the “weight” of glycogen is mostly water. I went from around 200 down to 195.

    At that point, my weight loss slowed down substantially, and I felt “stuck” at 194. Only for the past 2 days have I seen readings under 194. That’s almost 2 full weeks without any weight loss, which definitely felt frustrating.

    I finally did a blood test to make sure I was in ketosis, and I was. Even though I’ve felt positive effects more than I had after 10 days, I was definitely curious why the weight loss wasn’t occurring at a higher clip.

    As a result, I started tracking my calories very carefully and deliberately for the last five days, and that’s provided a clearer picture. On a “normal” day, I’m consuming somewhere between 2500-2800 calories. I’ve been almost exactly at the recommended guidelines of 70% fat, 25% protein, and 5% net carbs.

    My Fitbit has me burning about 3,000 calories per day on average. Aha! Now it all makes sense. At a calorie deficit of 300 calories per day, it would take right around 12 days to lose a pound.

    In other words, after the first week, there’s no “magic” to the weight loss, at least if one doesn’t start with more than 10-20 pounds to lose. (This seems like it could be different for people with a more substantial amount to lose, but I’m not sure.) For me, though, it appears it’s going to be calories in/calories out.

    For the past couple of days, I’ve dialed back the calories to around 2300 per day. And here is the interesting part to me: I’m not hungry.

    I think that’s likely the “magic” behind keto. At right around the 2 week mark, my appetite fell dramatically. And I’ve heard one’s appetite keeps falling as the body gets used to creating the right blood sugar concentration using fats (and proteins) instead of carbohydrates. There’s a nearly unlimited source of fat available in our bodies, and the ketogenic diet adds even more.

    To me, that means the additional weight loss will come over time as I just eat less. If I stay under 2500 and keep up my exercise level to burn 3000 calories, I’ll get into a rhythm of losing one pound per week from here.

    I had suspected I’d only need around 2 months of keto to lose upwards of 15-20 pounds overall. Now, I’m thinking it will take around 3 months. The fortunate part is that it seems very easy to do from a hunger perspective. The only worry I have about maintaining ketosis is that I’m needing to find more interesting and healthier meals than I’ve been having.

    My go-to meal has been sausage and cheese with hemp hearts and olive oil thrown in. It’s already getting old, and I think the omega-6 to omega-3 ratio is far too high to be considered healthy.

  • Keto for One Week – No Signs of Ketosis Yet

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    Craig

    I started my keto diet on January 9, so I’ve been doing it for just over a week.

    Here are some notes on it so far.

    1. I don’t get as hungry as I thought I would, and I’m not craving carbs really at all.
    2. Digestion seems to be better with less pain from bloating.
    3. From what I can tell, I’m not yet producing ketones in any measurable way. I’m using test strips for that. More on my impressions about this below.
    4. I think I’m at about 25 net carbs per day, but I think my protein intake may be too high still.
    5. I exercise almost every day. I knew there would be a cost to my endurance and strength. From what I can tell, I’m able to comfortably exercise at about 85-90% of my normal rates. My incline treadmill feels best at 18% incline instead of 21%. When riding a stationary bike, I’m generating around 170 watts instead of 200.
    6. I haven’t had any “keto flu” symptoms…probably because I’m not generating ketones yet. I’ve had a mild headache and some very low energy during parts of the day.
    7. I do still have a “low blood sugar” feeling occasionally, but I’d think I’d have a much worse reaction if I’m truly not in ketosis yet.

    From my understanding, being in ketosis takes between 2-7 days. I’m on Day 8, and the test strips aren’t detecting any ketones – or at least a very low amount.

    Since I’m on day 9 now, either the test strips are wrong or I’m doing something wrong.

    The thing that occurs to me is that I’m still consuming too much protein. I’ve tried to bump up my fat intake and at least slightly lower my protein intake starting yesterday, and I’m hoping that does the trick. Today, however, I’m not feeling anything different.

    The strangest part, then, is that I’m still going about my day without much discomfort. And I’m also not feeling like a complete idiot. I’d think that having only 25ish grams of carbs and exercising for 40-60 minutes per day would burn up that amount.

    I’ve read that our bodies can create glucose from protein as well as carbs in an emergency. That’s my best guess.

    So far, the scale has me at about 5 pounds less on a 3-day average reading.

    Overall, I’d say the experience is a positive one so far, but I’d really like to see what this ketosis business is all about soon.

  • Transitioning to Keto…the slow and sometimes painful way

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    Craig

    Around July 2021, I decided I wanted to drastically cut carbs and possibly try the keto diet. Only 16 months later, and I’m finally doing it!

    It’s been a journey that was originally sidetracked by terrible illness resulting from my changes in food choices.

    Up until then, I’d followed my “Heart Rate Health” program I developed and wrote about in 2003, with mostly pretty good results. For 10 years, my weight had stayed consistently between 191 and 200, depending on whether I was also adding resistance exercise. At 6’1″, this is not perfect by any means, but I was mostly happy with it and not willing to commit to a big change.

    During that time, I was eating oatmeal and an ounce of cashews for breakfast, a big salad for lunch, and a health combination of meat, vegetables, and some sort of “good” carb like quinoa or coos coos for dinner. Ok, also pizza and occasionally a giant plate of pasta…but that was becoming more rare. Between lunch and dinner, I ate not very good snacks of Goldfish and a Belvita bar, and I ate 1 1/2 ounces of M&Ms almost every night before bed.

    Still, like I said, I was mostly happy with how I was doing, as I exercise almost every day. Not 6 of 7 days. Probably 59 of 60 days. It’s just a habit I picked up and feel great doing.

    The first thing I did was to eliminate the carb-loaded afternoon snacks. I replaced that with slightly less carb-loaded protein bars.

    Then, it was time for the biggest shift…and the most painful one!

    I replaced my oatmeal breakfast with either meatballs or eggs, and I was much more strict on getting the right dinners. My weight started dropping pretty quickly during that time with the small consequence of stomach discomfort.

    Within a few weeks, the weight was still coming off reliably, but the stomach discomfort was turning into full on pain. I knew it was the result of the changes I was making, but to me, everything was tasting good, and the results were great.

    Eventually, though, I was doubled over in pain almost every day, and I could feel there was a real problem. I went in for blood tests, and they revealed I had an allergy. My eosinophils count in the white blood cell differential test was all the way to 3.8 thous/mm3. The normal range is 0.0 to 0.4 thous/mm3, so I was at nearly 10 times that. (A good friend of ours reported having intense stomach pain at 0.8thous/mm3.)

    At that point, I *had* to change something, as my doctors said I may have developed an adult-onset allergy, and we started to do tests on that. I completely gave up all dairy at that point.

    It turned out that I did have a moderate allergy to egg whites. I’m not sure when that developed, but I can tell you eggs are just about my favorite food, and I felt pretty devastated. (If I ever opened a restaurant, which I absolutely never should or would, it would be called “Craig’s Eggs”. Yes, I loved them that much, and I was pretty good at making them *very* tasty.

    Within a few weeks, I was somewhat back to normal and wasn’t spending hours per day in complete agony. Unfortunately, over the Thanksgiving holiday, I not only missed all the very best parts of the meals and treats made by our family, I still got so sick I missed a flight home. The culprit was a kale salad of all things. So I didn’t eat anything I wanted, did everything completely right, and I still go sicker than I had been almost ever. I now avoid any store bought kale salad!

    By the time it was Christmas, I was back to normal enough to go almost all-in on the holiday treats.

    I had lost 17 pounds between July and December…and then I started gaining it all back.

    So, my first attempt at a keto-ish switch failed. I did stick with protein and fat for breakfast (meatballs with parmesan or sausage with cheddar), and I continued to avoid the carby afternoon snacks.

    In the summer of 2022, I took an interest in resistance training and put on quite a bit of muscle. By early November, I decided I was ready to go all-in on a keto diet. It was just a matter of when.

    Halloween night, I decided I’d start the next day. I had awoken in the middle of the night with an itchy head that seemed like a possible spider bite. We had spent Halloween evening on the patio with a friend, and I figured some spider had dropped on my head and taken a healthy chomp.

    So I started keto the next day and stuck to it extremely well for 5 days. No extra hunger, no issues with giving up the nightly M&Ms. It was going pretty well…except the itching was spreading down my forehead and I was having some twitchy nerves above my eye. I called the doctor’s offices, and they said the bite area (if it was a bite) was strange enough looking to get checked out, and they almost casually asked if I’d ever had shingles.

    By the next day when I went in, every one I saw in the office looked at me like something was very wrong. The doctor confirmed I had shingles. That’s a story for another time, but it did knock my plans for sticking with keto into the New Year.

    Now, finally, in 2023, I’m all in. I “practiced” the transition by weaning myself off the Christmas cookies, Manhattans, and champagne and finally started it again on 1/9/2023 – 7 days ago.

    So far, so good. No shingles, no pain, no hunger…and so far, no signs of ketones or the keto flu. I’m not doing it all the way right yet, but I have seen a sizable change in the scale – from a one time high last Monday of 202.2 down to 195 today. That’s 7 pounds of something after just 7 days. I’ll take that win and work harder on limiting my carbs and protein this week to try to force the ketone production sooner.

    The 16-month “transition” wasn’t what I expected, but I’m off and running now, and I’ll try to catch up here on my progress.

    More soon…

  • 2022, A Year of Sharing More

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    Craig

    We’re now a few weeks into 2022, and I have to say, it could have started better without the omicron variant of COVID. At least it’s not 2021 or 2020 anymore.

    For the most part, I think this will be a great year, but there’s a long way to go for that happen.

    This year, I’m already very close to the physical health goals I set out to achieve, and that’s the main thing I’m happy about right now. It’s January, though, and I’m never all that happy in January…or February or March either.

    That brings me to what I want to share more about in 2022: depression and mental health. I’ve now been managing chronic clinical depression for almost 35 years. I’ve very rarely shared anything about it with anyone.

    The reason I’ve decided to do so now is that I finally feel as though I’ve figured it out. That doesn’t mean I don’t have it, I won’t get it, or that I’m not suffering from the ravages of it all time. It’s just that I now have the information I lacked before to know why it happens to me, and maybe this information will be useful to others, as well

    To get things started, I’ll say this. There’s absolutely no outside reason for me to suffer from depression. I had a good childhood. My parents were good to me. I had everything laid out in front of me in perfect order. I’m a white male American, I’m not an idiot, and I’m not offensive to talk to, be around, or look at from what I can tell.

    I also have great internal drive and strong motivation to learn new things. By the time I was 15, I was a nationally ranked chess player while playing 3 sports.

    I can’t say I was exactly *happy* at that age. I’m not sure anybody is at that age, but I was doing ok in the grand scheme

    But when I was 16, depression just full on attacked me right out of the blue. I was mostly able to cope with it, but my trajectory in life was altered terribly. By the time I was 18, I really fell apart.

    Like I mentioned, there was no good reason for it. Nothing “happened” to me.

    Only in the past couple of years have I learned the cause of my depression is almost certainly the overproduction of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. I figured out around 15 years ago that acetylcholine has other negative affects on me, all of which I’ll talk about in future posts. But I missed the bombshell research papers in 2012 that linked acetylcholine and depression until late in 2019.

    Suddenly, it all made sense. I’d figured it out. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean it’s gone or subsided in anyway. There’s no surgery to reduce acetylcholine, and the state of medicine for it is severely lacking.

    So I’ll talk about understanding it and also living with it. And I’ll talk about how it makes me a bit different on the inside. I’ve looked at it from just about every angle, and I’ve come to know that I’m definitely not the only one who suffers from this particular variation of depression. So maybe I can help others with it, and maybe I can help some caregivers understand better how it’s affecting their loved ones.

    That’s it for now, but I promise I’ll be back with more. More about why I faint, why I sweat so much, why I have a great memory, why I exercise every day, why my dreams are so vivid, and why my left hand is starting to shake so much I can’t drink my coffee with it.

    So, welcome 2022. Get your act together! We’re going to be busy!